Archive for October, 2008

Son, Self, Then Everyone Else.

Tuesday, October 28th, 2008

Dear World,

I have enjoyed my break from writing. It was good to get away form the firgign’ internet for a change and get back to who I am and what I want out of life.

It’s been no secret that for the last ten years I’ve been single and not dating at all. There was a close call a while back and that’s cool.

The rejection I felt from the dismal failure of that entire experience was more than I figured it would be as I knew it would undoubtedly fail way ahead of time yet I had to at least try and it still got me in a funk when it sunk like the Titanic. For the sake of closure I had to go through with the plan fail or no fail.

However, the idea of being in a relationship was rekindled and now I find mself asking “What now?” So yeah, what about now?

So I took a break from my guitar so I could focus on other things. I put myself out there on the market and realised several things.

First of all most people who are in the online dating scene are liars, cheaters, and completely unwilling to make anything real of the situation. Secondly, I am forced to avoid, due to my lack of social skills to go to clubs, social events, or anywhere normal people go to get dates.

I have decided as of this post that I am giving up officially in even trying to find someone. I am not interested in the extreme stress of it all and for all you married people out there NO, I WILL NOT FIND IT WHEN I AM NOT LOOKING! IT WILL NOT SNEAK UP ON ME WHEN I LEAST EXPECT IT SO SHUT UP! You married people can be pretty selfish, you know. Not only are you married and giving advice to single people but MOST OF YOU ARE STILL LOOKING FOR SOMEONE EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE MARRIED! Therefore taking any available woman off the market before a DECENT GUY and ever hope for a chance. SO SHUT UP! For those married people who this does not apply to read on and you have my sincere apologies but I had to say it.

I’m not stupid you know? I’m a decent guy. I am honest, sincere, smart, talented, and I’ve been known to have a great sense of humor and to top it off I’ve even relaxed some of my harsh rules. I’ve widened the gap of people I would consider being involved with and wouldn’t you know that didn’t even work!

So here it is … I give the heck up. Y’all win. Whatever winning is, you can have it. I’m sick and tired (quite literally) of even giving a crap. I’m happy for the most part and I don’t need anyone. I just wanted it. I can go on and lead a good life and I think it’s pretty darned sad that no one even gave me a chance. Even when I bent over backwards to accommodate!

all the dating sites suck. Y’all say you want one thing but go for another. Y’all tell me I’m a nice guy and anyone would be lucky to have me – except you! That’s pretty damned condescending!

I was spoken to in a dream a few weeks ago now I guess. In my dream I was told to be patient and the person I was meant for is near. Near as in close to my heart. I never held much stock in the dream world but after some thought I figured I had not other option BUT to be patient so why the heck not? I had a similar dream when I was sixteen that told me a pretty good bit about my life and sixteen years later I can say based on some choices I’ve made that some of those things came to pass. So I should take it mean that some of the same things in this dream would as well.

The dream itself isn’t important and even the subject really. However, I’ve been SINGLE for the last ten years. I’ve not so much as hugged a woman. I’m gettin’ a little impatient. Yet, my dream has spoken and I guess I have to be. Really, I’m not complaining. I know my priorities: Brett, Myself, Then everyone else. I think there is a rare occasion when I’d put maybe one or two of you before myself and I’d hope you’d consider yourself fortunate. I’m not selfish per se, I’m just cautious – been hurt way too many times.

Peace, Love, & Understanding,

Bug

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